Joseph Attoh 
As a parent, you have to juggle so many things: your personal life, career, marriage, children, and more. Yet, you are expected to succeed in them all.
A busy, career-oriented parent still has to make time for the children and work hard to pay the bills.
Today’s children need a lot of training because of the times we are in: exposure to technology, world issues, and many other influences.
The question is, how can parents still maintain their parental duties in a time like this? How can they balance both parenting and their personal lives?
This article seeks to answer these questions.
According to UNICEF, parenting is the process of providing nurturing care throughout childhood and preparing children to live in society, form relationships, learn, work, and thrive.
Just this definition tells me that parenting entails a lot. It could be biological or non-biological, and both require the same process. When a child is born, he or she is first introduced into a family, and the family becomes the first agent of socialization for that child. In most cases, it is the immediate family, that is, the nuclear family, that bears this responsibility. They have to ensure the holistic growth of their child.
And so, when society observes that a child is not showing this level of growth, parents are often blamed. The actions of these children are often described as the result of “poor” or “irresponsible parenting.”
While this might be true, we cannot ignore the fact that parenting comes with its own challenges that sometimes weigh parents down.
In today’s fast-paced world, parents have to make a living and provide for their children.
Before the child, there is a parent who may be facing physical, emotional, financial, or work-related challenges—a parent who is also a child to other parents and who needs money to take care of personal needs.
In a sense, parents live “two” lives. The question is: How will parents take care of themselves while also ensuring the welfare of their little ones? This is what I refer to as a “dual responsibility” or “dual parental role.”
Parents have to live in two worlds by living in their own world as well as the world of their children. But despite all these, parents can still be effective in parenting; there is a parental grace for every parent.
Children (from birth to age 18) cannot fully decide for themselves. They are still growing and need to be nurtured. Although your role as a parent does not stop when your child leaves home for work or marriage, parenting continues in a different way.
All children are to be cared for by their parents, whether young or old. However, there are some groups of children who need the most care because of their stage of growth and how easily they learn. The most advantageous thing is that once they are well taken care of at this stage, it becomes easier to guide them when they are older.
It has also been said that, “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
This means parents cannot use their own challenges or personal lives as an excuse for not raising their children effectively.
And when I say effective parenting, I mean godly parenting, where parents raise their children in the way of the Lord, just as Jesus grew in wisdom and stature (Luke 2:52) and as Samuel was nurtured in the things of God (1 Samuel 1–3).
How then can parents create that balance?
Let us look at how we can achieve balance between effective parenting and personal life.
1. Know Your Source
Psalm 127:3 tells us that “children are a gift from God, a reward from Him.” Therefore, all parents must know and understand that they did not have children by their own abilities or desires, nor did they receive the opportunity to parent children indirectly by their own choice. Rather, it is God who gave them the children, whether biological or not.
Therefore, the best person to seek direction from is the Source, and you can find the Source in His Word. The Bible provides various ways parents can train up their children in the way of the Lord, and the responsibility lies with parents to seek God and know His will concerning the children He has given them. This remains the best manual for parenting.
2. Prayer
Another way of balancing your dual role as a parent is to develop the habit of prayer, both for yourself, your spouse, your children, and your family at large.
A lot can be achieved through prayer, as Scripture teaches. Parenting goes beyond the physical because there are many battles fought against little ones since they are the future. Therefore, prayer is one of the most effective tools available to parents. A parent must learn not only to speak to the child but also to pray for him or her.
3. Create an Intentional Schedule and Discipline Yourself to Follow It
Family devotions with children should be prioritized. Give them roles such as praying, reading the Bible, and participating in discussions. Intentional scheduling helps parents remain involved in the spiritual and emotional development of their children while effectively managing other responsibilities.
4. Leverage the Skills of Stakeholders
By God’s grace, He has placed people around us in different roles, such as Sunday school teachers, school teachers, pastors’ wives, experienced parents, grandparents, child practitioners, and others. God has endowed these people with certain skills and knowledge which, as parents, we can tap into to support our children. Find the right people, pray about it, and leverage their skills.
Some practical ways to do this include:
Children’s Ministry
As a parent, ensure that your child attends children’s ministry meetings. Go to church with your children and have them participate in the children’s department. This will not only ease some of your responsibilities but will also help shape your child’s spiritual life, as the Bible says that “from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation.”
School Teachers
School teachers also play a key role in helping children develop holistically.
Some practical steps are:
1. Visit the school regularly to check on your child’s academic and behavioural performance.
2. Entrust your child to the care of a trusted teacher while in school.
3. Provide for your child’s educational needs and communicate whenever there is a delay.
4. Be involved in your child’s school activities.
Pastors’ Wives
Our pastors’ wives can also be great pillars to lean on when it comes to parenting. They can offer some of the best counsel you may ever receive. Draw near to them and share the challenges you are facing in raising your children. Through their experience in ministering to families, they can provide guidance and support.
Grandparents and Experienced Parents
One common thing we see is parents leaving their children with their grandparents at certain times. While this creates stronger family connections and improves the social life of children, it also helps ease the workload of parents and gives them time to refresh and regain strength. Grandparents can also pass on godly values to children, helping them develop morally.
Child Practitioners
There are many child practitioners across the world, including child psychologists, paediatricians, child counsellors, and school counsellors. Through their expertise, they are able to handle certain issues affecting children. Let us prayerfully leverage their expertise to support our children whenever the need arises.
I believe that once these things are done, they will reduce the pressure that comes with parenting and indirectly help children develop holistically to the glory of God.
As we leverage the skills and support of these stakeholders, our burdens are lightened, and we are better able to create that balance.
We should not allow the world to parent our children or choose who parents them for us.
By putting these strategies into practice, we can create that balance and raise godly children who, in turn, will become responsible adults, parents, leaders, and future grandparents.
May God help us.
Written By Deaconess Dorothy Akoto (Bidieso District-Obuasi Area)
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