Joseph Otsibah 
Marriage, as instituted by God, has long been under attack from the enemy whose aim is to distort every divine blueprint meant for humanity’s flourishing. In addition to spiritual opposition, the actions and choices of people within marriages often shape how the younger generation perceives the institution. Increasingly, many unmarried individuals approach marriage with hesitation or fear, influenced by negative examples around them. These fears, what may be termed pre-marital fears, are attitudes formed when one observes troubling behaviours in existing marriages, leading to doubt, reluctance, or even disinterest in ever marrying. This reflection explores some of these fears, their effects, and scriptural ways to address them.
From the male perspective, one of the common fears expressed is, “Can I ever trust her?” This concern is often rooted in the negative counsel or experiences shared by older men who generalise that “all women are liars.” Such sentiments, when repeatedly heard or witnessed, create a mental stronghold in young men who begin to believe that dishonesty is inherent in all women. The growing exposure to marital conflicts on social media and in families further reinforces this fear. Parents and married couples must therefore reflect deeply on how their conduct affects the perceptions of the young. Their actions either inspire confidence in marriage or create disinterest and distrust. Every Christian home must strive to be a positive model; a testimony that encourages rather than discourages the next generation.
Likewise, many young women grapple with the fear, “Will he stay faithful?” Influenced by stories of unfaithfulness, some conclude that all men share the same weakness. Though not universal, this fear significantly affects the willingness of many women to enter marriage with joy and hope. These perceptions often grow from real experiences, but when allowed to settle, they become obstacles to healthy expectations of marriage.
The call, therefore, is for married Christians to embody faithfulness, loyalty, and integrity, becoming living testimonies that counter these fears. The Scriptures affirm the existence of “faithful men” (Proverbs 20:6) and “virtuous women” whose worth is beyond rubies (Proverbs 31:10). Finding such partners requires spiritual discernment, prayer, patience, and wise counsel. The unmarried must renew their minds through God’s Word, heal from past hurts, and seek guidance from mature believers and counsellors.
When approached with understanding, prayer, and biblical truth, marriage remains a beautiful institution designed by God for companionship, growth, and His glory. Overcoming pre-marital fears begins with embracing this truth and trusting God’s ability to lead His children into purposeful, fulfilling unions.
Written by Elder Michael Boakye, Suame Area (Kronom District), Upper Room English Assembly
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